During this week of absolution a common phrase had been rallied, even stalwart at times: “Forgive and forget.” After some open-minded discussions we settled upon one definite conclusion about forgiveness. It is a means of expecting a positive change—whether behavioral or emotional, a lesson to be learned. If a child breaks a lamp while rough-housing, his pleas for atonement should be met with an understanding that there are consequences to his actions. In this case, the child would need to understand that he should replace the lamp by forfeiting his allowance or working off the cost in chores. In the end, the child learns to be more careful and sensitive to his surroundings by accepting accountability. However, not all offenses are as easily remedied as broken material items; we also confront matters of varying degree and compile a laundry list of memories we’re not sure we want to sustain.
What we need to understand is that is God’s purpose for us. For us to forget would defeat the very reason God wanted us to learn from the experience when he allowed us to go through the pain in the first place. How can we be expected to forgive if we try to forget the heartaches and affliction God is giving us insight into? We must retain our hardships so we can be of service to Him in reaching out to others. This is how we can begin to show love in return for hatred and not focus on our own needs while neglecting the distress of others. Jesus said in Ephesians 4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Let this be our instrument to carry out God’s will.
Heavenly Father: Thank you for allowing us to experience our heartaches, disappointments, and sorrows. Allow us to use these as tools to establish your kingdom. Amen
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