Letter to the Debtor

My past is laden with sin. I have mocked and teased people because of physical and mental disabilities. I have stolen money and other items. I have slandered people I love and even those I do not know. I have knowingly defied God in deed and in word. And I have hit rock bottom. It was there that Jesus asked me for the countless time, “Do you love me?” When I finally submitted fully it was then I heard Him say, much in the way He said to Peter, “Then take care of my sheep.”

I didn’t really know what it all meant. I had self doubt in my abilities to do anything to honor God. I felt a calling to be a high school teacher and was drawn to struggling students who held a similar past to mine. I prayed for acknowledgment to make sure I was tending to the herd. He answered in a letter from Brittany.

“Dear Mr. Collier—I just wanted to take the time to write that you are definitely one of the best teachers I have had. Your class has taught me a lot about life, choices, and has made me have a different attitude about teachers. When I first got in this class I thought we would be reading book after book, taking no thought in the meaning of the literature or make any connections to our lives. As we started this class, I realized you took our class to a more personal level, and as you’ve said, you try to make the feeling of family. By you sharing your personal past, and taking the time to allow us to do the same, I realized that you are here for more than just a paycheck. I know that when we started reading Tuesdays With Morrie I actually made a connection to Morrie and you. Unlike other classes, every film we watched in here made me feel that I could do anything when I walked out the door. I hope that on days when you get discouraged you remember that even if students don’t admit it, you have made a difference in peoples’ lives, even if only for a day….because you have in mine.”

Even when our pasts are riddled with sin we can take heart in Christ's call on Peter even after Peter had denied the Lord three times. God redeems our past and gives us promise for the future. Although I falter daily in my walk and promise to take care of His sheep, I keep this letter to remind me that God uses even the chief of sinners for His glory and that when I am willing to do God's will He is eager to respond in affirmation.